Family Jobs
Hadi Taghizadeh, Iranian writer
Reprinted from: Global Seminar of Fiction and Dialog Among Cultures, Farokh Negar Pub., Karnameh, Negar EskandarFar, 2004


It is so happened that we are trapped in trap, made by ourselves. An old saying says, all the troubles are baked in one's even. I had promised my little daughter, to take her to a movie on weekend. To be exact I had promised it, four days before it. But you know that a clerk has many obligations to be fulfilled. It was already dark that to remembered my promise. Because, I was a methodical sort of man getting up and going out to compensate.

I bought videotape of the same movie. It is not the usual spending for a simple down level clerk. It is more stupidity. My daughter watched the tape for a week long. At the end, she had discovered the mysterious content like Archimedes and she said with shining eyes, "Dad, you are like the captain of the pirates!"
My wife laughed, "If only he was lame and one-eyed."
My daughter said seriously, "Oh! Mom, I mean his beard big around belly. Uneven eyebrows and thick lips. Like Long John Silver!"
My wife raise an eyebrow and she said, "Really, do you think so?"
"Only a little make up will do. Say!"

An hour later, I became captain of the pirates. A mock one. I folded my left foot and bound it. A pump sticks to my knee. I covered my right eye with a black cloth. I wore my wife's pit black raincoat. A derby hat of my father crowned my head. A symbol of bones and skull on it. The buttons were covered by golden florescent tape.

They were excited by my new appearance so much; they danced like cannibals around me. My daughter was very pleased and she pleaded me to sleep with the same costume in the bed. Since I am to please the children, I accepted.

An ancient proverb says, "End of destruction is at the beginning." In the morning at twilight, I woke up by rocking. My daughter was shaking me. "Get up, you sleepy captain. It is the time. Get up. Hurry!"

I rubbed my eye under the black cover. I yawned and I asked her, what was the fuss!
She asked me, what fuss. I told her, "This mumbo Jumbo!" My daughter said crying, "Captain, oh captain, the morning sea is the best one to be robbed."

Down below in the street, I acted according to my genes.
we robbed the four-wheeled ships in the neighborhood.

The first misfortune stroked ship was a yellow Dastun car. Up on turning to our street, I jumped on the hood, like a painted devil. My daughter knocked at the pane. The driver was shocked and asked, what do you want? My daughter said politely, "We are pirates. If you like your life, you should pay ransom."

I told her that ransom is not a suitable and polite word, assistance is a better word. The sleepy man reached the compartment and gave a handful of coins to her.

My happy daughter pocketed the change and she signaled me to clear the way. The first success was hopeful.
I got leave without payment.
Coins were charming. Our home was a little treasure full of coins. Every corner was full of piles of coins. In the washroom, bathroom and kitchen. In my daughter's bedroom, the coins reached the ceiling. The coins buried everything, even our under wears. I was not pleasant.

My wife was used to say, we are making love on a bed of coins. It is good for the future of the children. But, this was just one side of coins. There were disasters as well.

Sometimes calling names, beating and misunderstandings bothered me. Once, I blocked the way of a 206 Peugeut ship, captain of the ship opened the window and attacked me by tomatoes. Then, he cried, "Fool! Fool! Fool! He is sinking."

I told my daughter, "Look, the time is over with the piracy!"
My daughter told me, "Dad, the coins at home are not agreed with you. The captain was crazy. The crazy fools have nothing to do with the era."

Her answers were convincing, but I was annoyed.
My wife has nothing to do, but coming the coins. Now, even the coins were in our food.
I was thinking that, by passing the coins, I could reach everywhere.

Now, the coins buried everything. I don't blame them, but I mean to show their engulfing and digesting power. I open the mouth, coin, coin, coin, coin. Means abrupt strike. Coin means abrupt strike. Looking at the pile of coins makes the notion.

I don't know, it was very fast. Leave without payment finished so soon.
After one year, I decided to return to my job. All ends in good ends.
I was very lucky, not to come across British Royal Navy.
I told my daughter, "I should go to office from tomorrow on. It was a nice game."
My daughter scratched her head and said, "So soon Dad! I have bought a hugged equipped vessel, to follow up our job in Far East seas. Do you want to leave me alone?"

You know that I act upon my genes.